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A Kingdom United?

A deeper look into the events and actions within the U.K. Aiming to analyse and discuss the effects events have on our daily lives, the media portrayal of such events and the political wrangling they create.

Breaking News - 10 stories that caught my attention

— Filed under: Breaking News, Politics & Government, People & Culture, Opinion
Portrait of Jane Austen, from the memoir by J....

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1. This story, published here by The Telegraph is about claims that Jane Austen, one of Englands most famous novelists was heavily edited and was by and large written by two people.  Good Stuff. The News article, not Jane Austen.  Give me Terry Pratchett any day of the week.

2. The details of Dr David Kelly's death have been made public, despite previous statements that this would not be released for 70 years, in an attempt not to distress the family with Headlines regarding the subject.  The findings seemed to have pleased no one and caused a lot of finger pointing and debate over whether the findings report might, just might, been tampered with long before it was started, or just a load of piffle that somebody made up in a in the pub, while eating pork scratching's and drinking a Bitter.

3.The Government, bless them have decided that if they build on a green belt, then there is nothing we can do about that.  Incredulous.

4. The Nuclear Submarine, which some silly so and so parked on some rocks off the Scottish coast is getting a tickety boo check, whilst the Commander in charge may getting his discharge( You may need to setup an account with The Financial Times to access this article)

5. Rupert Murdoch has admitted that he finds Lady Thatcher an inspiration, which means there is a loud conversation in my future with a certain poster on this site.  Lady Thatcher also took a trip to the hospital recently, with flu...I wonder if perhaps she also had surgery to remove her  horns, who knows.

6. David Cameron has been defending the cuts again,  but may have fallen out with George Osborne, therefore polarising the Conservative party.  I am not surprised in the slightest.  We are in for a couple of long cold winter's people... Perhaps a new wave of  depression born artist, but then again probably not.

7. Bob Crow as previously suggested is warming his "down with institutions, up with annoy authorities" scheme, and will know doubt be reading certain books to ensure he brings about a new way of thinking, but not real.

8. A Tory council leader has been suspended from duties after dressing up as Hitler and giving the Nazi salute to a camera, which he the posted to Facebook. Pillock.

9. Nick Clegg, now honourary chief of tactic swap 2010.  He has recently announced that it was a soul searching affair as he chose to elect for the current government spending  Personally i have no doubt that Cleggy thought first about his political career and paid a Media Adviser for a "review".

10. A win for Newcastle away, has got me bubbling away about a cheap squad and a not half bad team. Optimism prevails, for a wee while.

timedesign's picture

Mercedes drivers

Yeah, stop complaining Mercedes drivers, try finding a good parking spot for a nuclear submarine. It's a nightmare.

Also, not surprised to see the world's second most self-interested, mean-spirited, vitriolic, vindictive bastard has a great affinity with the world's number one self-interested, mean-spirited, vitriolic, vindictive one.

And I don't know why, but tories dressed as Nazis always makes me feel warm inside. Or is that just me?

Hewy's picture

In numerical order! 1.

In numerical order!

1. Blackadder has never been more historically accurate :  "While explaining his pseudonym to Baldrick, Blackadder claims that Ann RadcliffeJane Austen and Dorothy Wordsworth are men (especially Jane Austen, who is actually "a huge Yorkshireman with a beard like a rhododendron bush"), and the only female writer in England is James Boswell. These untruths are naturally meant to be comical references to female period authors who published under male names. 4min 10 in.

2. He was done in.

3. Of course not, they are Tories. Dunno if their fox-hunting voters would agree with their stance however. Could be a fun rumble in the future.

4. Billy Connolly's colony is to blame

5. For reasons best known to Mr Shaw I cannot comment on Maggie "F*cking" Thatcher due to legal reasons. Needless to say, Valahalla may only be reached upon her leaving this piece of shit speck of dust we call earth. 

6. I've already posted an updated script of The Boy's from The Black Stuff in preparation

7. 4 legs good 2 legs bad.

8. He was only following orders!

9. He actually meant Soul searching, ergo an appropriate song by a black artist from the 60's called Barrett Strong.

10. I had a lump in my throat. I've sought advice from Marc Almond.

Bono estente!

MrRobbie's picture

Politician dresses as Politician for a Party

8.  Agreed, what a pillock.  His reasoning is quite sound, 'The invitation was to depict the year in which you were born. I was born in the war.' His Birth Certificate attests to this fact, reading, 17th of May, THE WAR. So, what other ideas could have been bandied about for his costume? A Tank may have been a nice touch, i'm sure he'd have plenty of Marks and Sparks beans kicking around to fashion an outer shell of tin, and a simple super glue construct of several undisturbed tins for the long bit at the front that kills people. Or maybe he could of dressed up as Churchill, but alas, his wife thought he meant the dog and her 17 and a half hours slaying small dogs and sewing their pelts was wasted. Alas, he finally decided on the most obvious choice and thus, ruined his political career. But really, is anyone that bothered?         

MrShaw's picture

Boris Vs David aka Reality Vs Cameron and his Dream Pipe.

Boris Johnson has just attacked The Conservatives cost cutting methods which is introducing a cap on housing benefits.  Mr Johnson has suggested that the measure will see 17,000 Londoners on the streets, is a Kosovo-style social cleansing act (I am just running off to the bookies to bet on that he will retract that particular statement with a week) and that it is not going to happen on his watch (note to self, put two bets on).

Mr Johnson is currently in negotiation with Ministers, but one would presume that it would not be the PM he is having a chin-wag with due to their rather fractious relationship over the years.  This confrontation was always on the cards, but other Coaltion MP's from Inner London have decided to pipe down and let Boris be the mouth, that maybe shot down/the goat that departs or relocated to the Scilly Isles in the future. Very kind of them.  You want 1 politician to shutup, and then 27 of them all come at once.

Nick Clegg, freshly off the last fence he had been perched upon for the last two weeks, has said that Mr Johnsons remarks were deeply offensive to people who had witnessed ethnic cleansing.  Which was nice of him, but I am assuming that he is admitting that would not be Chalfont St Giles, his hometown and therefore he doesn't actually know how those people would feel and indeed he is prattling on about something he has not even the first foggiest idea about. Muppet.

MrShaw's picture

Submarine parking substandard

It would seem that naughty old David with his cuts has made a right mess of the Navy.  Or perhaps not, but his intended cuts are going to increase the number of time somebody with a rather shiny pair of shoes and a greased down side parting parks a  Nuclear Submarine on the rocks. I love my own angle, but not the news. Oh dear.

MrShaw's picture

Submarine Captain loses his post.

Andy Coles, the gentleman in charge on the day that HMS Astute (now that's irony) ended up parked unintentionally on some rocks near The Isle of Skye will lose his position as Commander but he will remain in The Royal Navy.  A further decision will be made as to whether Coles will be summoned to a Court Martial.