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A Kingdom United?

A deeper look into the events and actions within the U.K. Aiming to analyse and discuss the effects events have on our daily lives, the media portrayal of such events and the political wrangling they create.

Sellabrity Auctions - Cherie Blair flogs Tony for a Tenner

— Filed under: Breaking News, People & Culture, Opinion
Tony Blair's signature.

Image via Wikipedia

Tony Blair would be a wise man to check around the house (all 7 of them) to see if any "valuables" were missing, including copies of his memoirs, several watches and possibly other gifts presented due to his exploits as Super Politician Man/Two Faced Greedy Little Robber Toad and quite possibly pictures of his own signature!

It would seem that Cherie Blair, not content with attempting to rustle up £250,000 on the back of a charity speaking tour of Australia, been accused of having showers with a former topless model at Number 10, creating shame for Tony and Al by showing sympathy for Palestinian Suicide Bombings, using an Con Man (not Tony for a change) to negotiate a discount on a purchase of two flats, enacting a Richard Madeley in style when she walked out of a Sydney Supermarket with £2000 worth of shopping, singing "When I'm 64" shortly after receiving the news Dr David Kelly had committed suicide, attempting to dodge tax on precious jewels and many many more chewed faced blunders has recently turned her Ebay account into a electronic version of Carbooty.

Mahmood Hassan Chairman Islamic Aid with Cheri...

Image via Wikipedia

Cherie has recently managed to sell a copy of Tony's signature for £10 despite the fact that you can get a free one if you can be bothered to attend a book signing by the toothy chimp, organised by Cherie - BOOK NOW 50% off, and comes with a 10 second recording from The Cherie Blair Aussie "I'm for sale tour".  Added to her attempt to sell "air in a bag", she has also managed to sell off a couple of watches given by Italian pimp, wife beater and verbal buffoon, Silvio Berlusconi and quite possibly several egg shells from "REAL EGGS" that remain from those with a opinion that might be considered public, and were tossing said shells (yolk laden) at response to his "I'm a Goody Guy/Meet the Peasants" tour, with discounted seats available to Mappin & Webb, Apple and Wedgewood.

Mrs Blair has always struggled to achieve peace with the Media, not as it would seem on first appearances for being a chewed faced possible ambassador to our fine nation that seems to drop more balls that Robert Green, but instead being of the Viv Nicholson fantasy land where buy money is no object and being a ruthless hag ensure you get your five star rating from E-thief.

If I had the opportunity to advise Mr Blair right now (without the din of his own speeches curdling the juice of his sisters spiritual syringe) it would be to get Cherie's entrance forms for the position as Master of Ceremonies to the Gurning World Championships, held as part of the Crab Fair & Sports in Egremont, sent off sharpish, in case his collection of "Pete and Me " videos are snapped up to by a Ape called Albert working for The Sun Newspaper and printed to 3 million morons.

And the best thing about Cherie " Chewed Chops", " Flog my fart for a farthing" Blair?  Well you can find that answer right here.

MrRobbie's picture

I must say, i have been

I must say, i have been meandering through this life of mine for some years without any knowledge of this woman. Yes i saw her standing next to Tony occasionally on the telly when i've watched breakfast news on BBC1, but i thought it was just some woman who enjoyed being outside. But now it seems i have learnt more about her, i have read this article and my brain now knows things it needn't have know, yes, humorous, gosh i guffawed at "Two Faced Greedy Little Robber Toad" and i enjoy that she is auctioning off tat on the internet, she's normal.

BECAUSE...

If i had a stupid cock of a husband who basically finger fucked the nation while sporting a toothy grin and exploited power he did not understand, I'd want a tenner. Probably more but i'm not greedy.

Hewy's picture

Sellabrity is my word you

Sellabrity is my word you swine!

It was rumoured around 1982 that she'd do owt for a gram of crack. I never thought she had the balls to take it this far though. Nee the wonder the lad indoors turned to God's divine providence for answers.

But what's important is what is the question?

Answers on a postcard too............

Winston Smith's picture

Use it or lose it

Hewy wrote:
Sellabrity is my word you swine!

Use it or lose it! (as they say in some obnoxious country somewhere)

MrShaw's picture

Flog a watch, buy a "Beware of the Hen Poo" sign

It would seem that Cherie has been saving her credit for a poultry coop sign, among other nicknacks she has bought online.  A Telegraph reporter has taken it upon herself to attempt to breakdown the person behind these purchases, and found that she is a Trout faced miser. Couldn't agree more.  More good news for Mrs Blair then, after a local council told her and Tony they could stick their sports pavilion in a large orifice of their choice.  No doubt they are measuring Tony's backside and Cherie's mouth to see which one is larger.

Hewy's picture

Anyone for tennis?

Tony might need to put that chicken poo sign in his pants as he's been summoned back to explain "gaps" in his evidence in the Chilcot enquiry http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2010/oct/26/tony-blair-summoned-back-to-chilcot-inquiry

Or he may have to put it round his neck on a little string as it seems chicken poo pours out of his mouth still!

Cock-a-doodle-don't!

MrRobbie's picture

Well, i would love to

Well, i would love to contribute more to this story of the Blairs' recurring acts of idiocy, but that would mean investing more time and effort and i'd have to use the internet, and we all know, if i sit in front of the internet for more than 10 minutes at a time i will probably get distracted and start to touch myself... inevitability Mr Anderson.

SO shall we move on to more pressing matters, Tea?